This weekend, my church visited Jan-Kay Ranch for a church retreat. Chloë and I had a lot of fun horse-back riding, swimming, visiting the zoo animals and, among other things, eating :P. I do have to say, though, I did my best to stay out of the scorching sun.

By far the best part of the trip was hearing the teaching of our guest preacher, Wayne Conrad. Wayne is a reformed pastor in Dallas, Texas and you can find some of his sermons here. He spoke concerning Baptism, its meaning and its nature. One theme of note was the fact that Credobaptists spend a lot of time in the polemics of the Credo-only vs. Paedo debate, but become so encumbered with it that they neglect the biblical emphasis dealing with the nature and definitionof baptism.

I very much appreciated Wayne’s thoughts and hope to see him again soon. Check out his sermons.

Anyway, this was just a short, non-sequitir concerning what I did this weekend and was in no way intended to be an exhaustive praise of Mr. Conrad, as my brief words have not done him justice.

First let me address a somewhat related issue, then we’ll delve into the blog post.

I’ve received a comment from an ”Anonymous” person who warns me of the dangers of criticizing one of God’s men. On that same token, ought I remind him/her of his/her own advice, as he/she is criticizing me, and I am a child of God, who happens to be a man, thus one of God’s men? In the comment “Anonymous” writes:

I would hate to live a life with such defeat in my mind. Satan came to kill, steal, and destroy; not God. You might want to watch your criticizing of one of God’s men. It’s dangerous. 

(For the sake of having to constantly put “him/her” for qualification “Anonymous” will be hereafter referred to as one of the male sort, but not too masculine as there was no name, email address, or website left for the purpose of identifying himself) 

As I’ve already posed to Mr Anonymous, I’m not sure what he means by “such defeat” in his anonymous comment left. I certainly don’t see the providences God has orchestrated and ordained in my life as defeat, and I truly hold to the concept that whatever the Sovereign decrees and ordains is right. Maybe Mr Anonymous thinks that God suffers defeat when His creatures don’t have enough “faith” to believe in their health and wealth as growing exponentially without fail all of the time. Maybe when a godly man loses everything it’s because he didn’t believe, confess, or speak enough good faith about it. Thus, being bound by the faithlessness of His Own creatures, the Creator is, Himself, defeated.

Personally, I can’t go for that. Nor can I speak for it biblically. From what I understand, it is the Lord Who orchestrates anything from the formation of light, to the creation of darkness…from anyone or anything’s well-being, to the calamity that befalls anyone or anything. In fact, I’m pretty sure that He works all things according to the counsel of His own will. I mean, forgive my dogmatism, but I also believe that the Lord has created everything and given it its purpose…yep, even the wicked amongst us, for their day of doom. And you know what? I believe that all of these which He freely decreed to do, I believe that they are born from His inherent goodness, mercy, justice, righteousness, and perfection. Because I believe God is inherently and infallibly good, even the things which “seem” to be “bad”, really are for good.

Now, I believe such a belief to be biblical, as opposed to the idea that God intends for all His children to always be prosperous, healthy, and wealthy at all times. Don’t get me wrong, I like new clothes, a nice car, good lungs, and a nice home just as much as the next guy, but I don’t think that God wants that for every last one of His people.

Anyway, I’ll take the light off good ole’ Joel and turn it to his wife, Victoria, who shares the welcoming podium with him at Lakewood. I found a Windows Media Feed of a Lakewood service, and thought I’d just tune in to see what exactly would go on at a typical Lakewood service.

The following quotes are taken from this streaming audio service at Lakewood. 

Joel Osteen 

“Remember, we enter into God’s presence through praise and thanksgiving, so give God something to work with today.”

I know, I know…I said this would be about Victoria, and really…it is. But I just have one question for Mr. Osteen: What did God have “to work with” when He spoke Creation into existence?

Victoria Osteen

“You know, we can tap in to God’s supernatural power through our praise and worship. You know, the Bible says, ‘Find out what pleases God and do it.’  Well I can tell you this morning, our praise and our worship please God Almighty. It’s not only good for us but you know what? It blesses God. It blesses His heart. And we can just actually reach up with our faith and pull the power and the strength right out of God into our…into ourself.”

WHAT!??!?? Number one, she says the Bible directs people to find out what pleases God. Umm…hello? The Bible tells us what pleases God. I just thought this quote  was caaarrrazzzzzzy! What in the world is she “pull[ing]…right out” of God? Maybe whatever it is that Joel says God needs to “work with”. Mr. Anonymous, I do apologize for any inconvenience my comments may cause you, please hold and the next “Best Life Now” will be with you shortly. Thanks, and have a nice day!

Ok, I don’t watch much television because, well, I have other things to do. However, having recently invested in an iPod for my music library, I discovered that it also has video capability. So I’m perusing the iPod store and come upon a section called TV Shows. They had some free samples! Wooo hoo!!! (Although, considering the price of my iPod, I can confidently say nothing’s free.) Anyhoo, one of the free shows was Who Wants to Be a Superhero? brought by the Sci Fi Channel, and of course the famous comic book master, Stan Lee.

This first episode, as far as I’m concerned, was hilarious. Very few of these guys seemed, for lack of a better phrase, “down to earth”. Anyway, I want to briefly touch on just a few of the contestants:

First, let’s consider the “Iron Enforcer”. This guy is Mr. Tough, but he fails soooooooo miserably at such a feat. His acting is terrible. I think he tries to be like Wolverine, yet falls terribly short. Anyway, that’s not what’s funny. Here’s what’s funny: In this very first episode, there’s a mole put in the incoming group with a hidden camera to see if there are any character flaws from these individuals. Gasp! Guess what? There were! Needless to say the “Iron Enforcer” goes on this tirade about killing people…ha ha ha. Comic Book Guy gone Blade!

Next, we have “Creature”, and if the name “Beast” weren’t already assigned I’d have given her that label. What a stinkin’ animal! She was veraciously flirting with all the superhero men coming in, making comments to each one of them like, “I love your body”. Gag a maggot! The very first “test” the superheros had was to change from their regular clothes to their superhero costume in a public place, yet inconspicously, and then making it to a directed spot. But there was a twist…Stan Lee strategically placed a little girl on the way to the objective, who was crying out for help. This would test the contestants on their compassion and self-sacrifice (I think only 1 guy out of the whole lot stopped to help). Anyway, Creature here, ran right on past the little girl and the camera even catches her turning her head and intently looking at her, yet still moving along. Ha ha ha…pathetic.

Then there’s my personal favorite: Fat Momma. Completely uninhibited concerning her weight, and doesn’t give a stinky poo what folks think about it. Get this: Doughnuts help her and diet foods hurt! That’s so awesome! Guess what her super power is? She only has one. It’s great: Can grow to five times her normal size when she gets angry. By the way, I’m not advocating obesity or gluttony, but I just love the contrast between ”Fat Momma” and the other women contestants who seem to want to emphasize certain parts of their body over others. My vote, not that it counts, goes to Fat Momma.

I thought the show was shallowly entertaining. Check it out.